When I reflect on where I am today with regards to where I used to be, how incredibly far I’ve come just amazes me. It’s been well over a decade since I escaped the eye of the tornado as I call it. There’s been so much to Heal. The amount of stress and trauma jam packed into a six year span left me with a lot to process. My nervous system was completely shot, making living and acting ‘normally’ a challenge.
It took me years and years of waking up, learning, going back to sleep, & waking up again to finally gain some wisdom and insight into what this life is all about. Ever since I was a child I always knew there was something more, that we were not here for nothing, that there was a purpose to all of this. I had hardships from the moment I was born, challenge upon challenge upon test upon lesson – I knew I was being prepared for something. I was fascinated by what I could not see, could not explain.
I loved getting into heated debates with skeptics, “Bring me a box of wind I say!” .. which they never could do .. so I would tease them & say, “Well then I guess it doesn’t exist ;)”
My curiosity led me to a Holistic school where I took “Quantum Medicine’, which basically skyrocketed my desire to further explore & pursue my Spiritual Enlightenment. With the introduction of Quantum Physics into my life, I knew that just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there 🙂 During the course of this class I had what was probably the most amazing dream I have ever had. It was incredible – I met a wonderful Being, we gently floated in space high above the earth – he brought me towards another being & said ‘Look !” He began to tear off his skin piece by piece – as he did , rays and rays of gold and white light emerged, lighting up the darkness. He looked at me and said, “This is what we’re really made of. I felt how much he really wanted me to know that. He wanted me to Believe. He knew I was struggling with moving forward because believing what I believed – without being able to prove it & living in a world where being like me earns you many different kinds of labels .. which you eventually learn to ignite ..
Last year alone Physics & Quantum Physics have made some really exciting discoveries, ones that even confuse the physicists 🙂 I kind of like that .. I am beyond excited for future discoveries & want science to catch up to what I’ve felt for so long = We are so not alone.
The last trauma was a decade ago, I still had anxiety issues & occasional panic attacks, wanted it to go away. I had lived in fear for so long, I didn’t remember any other way. I struggled but had to figure out how to relax, I mean really relax.
It took Tony Horton from P90x to make me realize how I walked around with my shoulders clenched up like an accordion, stiff, stressed – I was one big knot, in constant fight or flight mode.
Then I discovered ART👩🎨
This was only 3 short months ago. I now barely own anything that doesn’t have a little bit of paint on it. It was a post online that had me asking myself whether or not I had a creative side. A video in which an art teacher explains that everyone has a creative side, but a lot of people seem to tell themselves they can’t draw. I laughed – my running joke – used to be “If I try to draw a blue boat it’ll look like a red house !” Always the joker 😉 The next thing I knew I was off to the dollar store to get some paint by numbers, just to see if I’d enjoy it. To my amazement, they actually had cheap canvasses, Acrylic paint & brushes lol Why not – for less than $20 I was all set.
And the rest is history. I haven’t stopped since. My mind automatically shuts off, I am present, ahhhhh the elusive corner piece !! Voila ! A whole new world has opened up. In three months I’ve worked two events at local art galleries, met one of my favorite artists from France & started doing some translation work for him. I have found my passion!
Current Lesson : Using Intuition to paint. Need to sharpen it, this well help my enlightenment as well. Finally. Healing almost complete. Just in time to commence Reiki training soon. Thank you Universe, I am eternally Grateful for all of the lessons, all of the Beauty, & yes, all of the challenges and the crap – for without them I would not have grown & evolved. Everything happens for a reason.